After two long years of wandering the land in search of the perfect husbando I was found by the only man who can rise higher than that prestigious rank; my father. A master tactician, expert paternal figure and, from the chilling tales my mother has told me, the most devious lover she's ever had. Also the only one that has ever willingly allowed her to stalk him. I recall very little of my past. . . My future? Past? All of this time travel stuff is really confusing, but the point is that I don't remember anything other than my parents. One thing that I recall about my father is the journal he kept. I was never allowed to see it. Often times he'd scold me just for thinking about it (I never did know how he knew I was thinking about it) but my father in the past. . . Present? In the present that is the past. Well he's not as careful as his future self. Many of it's pages are filled with passages about plots for betrayal, the bonds between victims, friends and victims that are friends. Some pages involve some kind of demonic horse creature. I can only assume that my father was intoxicated when he wrote those as the horses of the camp seem like such sweet animals. But anyway, most of his journal focused around something he called his waifu search, a search that ended once he married my mother. I am of age and some of the guys that we're picking up are kinda hot. Perhaps I should follow in my fathers footsteps and begin my own search. Tonight I rest, tomorrow I meet with my parents to learn as much about the ways of courtship as I can. I'm practically giddy with excitement.
Day 2 of my FE:A husbando search,
As it turns out trying to talk to my parents about relationships is a little more embarrassing than I would have liked. Father insisted on having whatever conversation I was intent on right in the middle of camp! With everyone watching! It was as if what I wanted didn't even matter, I mean, come on, when somebody tells you that they need to speak to you privately it's because they NEED to speak with you privately. It's like, he just didn't get it! But I suppose that's to be expected with fathers and their daughters. In the end I decided that as punishment I would use my superior strategic skill to lure my father into a trap. I'm sad to report that the ruse almost worked, he found me out at the last second and made me fill the hole in. I batted my lashes and made the pout that I knew he couldn't resist and managed to convince him to help, but it looks like I won't be getting any advice from him any time soon.
Mother seemed even less enthusiastic about helping her own daughter. Short snippy answers and half-attentive sighs as she wistfully glared at my father from inside the barrel that I took to be her hiding spot from his watchful gaze. It's as if all she sees in the entire world is him. Romantic, if a bit irksome. Perhaps that is the key though. Maybe if I watch my intended husbando for long enough I will be able to devise strategies for wooing him, do as mother does and watch every move my future (present?) love makes so that I know how to manipulate him. Of course, how could I have not seen it sooner. Mother may be a little mad, but she's definitely a genius in the art of seduction.
Day 3 of my FE:A husbando search,
Taking a page from my mothers book I decided to watch the only guy in camp close to my age, (and from my timeline) Owain. He looks cute, but he's dumber than a sack of bricks. The moron actually thinks that his hand is a sentient force of justice. I spotted him talking to Kjelle today and from the looks of it my opinion is unanimous among the other girls, she barely even gave the fool the time of day. All that said though, he IS cute. Maybe I could just, y'know, practice my strategies on him for a bit. I tried talking to my mother about my plans, maybe even alleviate some of that memory loss of mine, no real progress was made on either unfortunately. She told me just to stare at her real hard and see if any memories surfaced, I tried to tell her about my plot for Owain, but she just stared at dad, she didn't even seem to be listening. She just kept rubbing the ring he gave her. I found it funny how it never moved. In any case I think I've deciphered the lesson she was trying to teach me; sometimes you just have to try something, even if you're not sure what it is you need to do. I've taken that lesson to heart, I'm gonna go talk to Owain tomorrow!
Day 4 on my FE:A husbando search,
I didn't need to search for very long, the oaf had been searching for me all morning. Had he seen me watching him? Mother never told me what to do if the guy I'm stalking ever found out I was following him. I tried to pretend that I hadn't ever noticed his existence until that moment in time. Then he began going on about how he knew from the moment he saw me, blah blah, we were fated to be blah blah, that we were partners, blah blah. To be honest it turned me right off. It couldn't be that easy and I haven't spent the past three days deciphering my parents cryptics lessons to settle for a guy who's so damn desperate! I told him that if he can cook I'd think about it. That fool with his fool hand, all he knows how to use it for is swinging a sword and most of the time he can't even do that right. I don't know what I ever saw in him.
Today is the final day of my lessons with mother. I've taken to trying to get my mother to take her eyes away from father, today's tactic was to burst into tears in an effort to inspire some kind of emotional response. Sadly I received none, though the twitching in the corner of her lips tipped me off to the fact that she knew I was there, so she isn't entirely absorbed in fathers presence. I switched strategies and claimed to remember a bit of my past (future?) and that I remembered her smiling at me. Nothing, I vowed to work as hard as possible to cause more memories to resurface, really working the desire to have memories specifically of my mother. Took me a good few minutes to end the tirade, but by the end of it she was actually looking at me. Me, and not father! She smiled and wished me luck! She must be trying to teach me never to give up and to keep trying no matter how bleak things might be. man, I have like, the best mother.
I put all of her teachings to use and stole one of my fathers favorite books from his collection. I figured that if I can hide it so that he can't find it then I'll have finally surpassed his art for covert strategy. The problem was putting it somewhere it wouldn't get damaged. The best hiding place, I thought, would be somewhere he'd least expect it to be hidden, right in plain sight, so I put it into a bag and carried the bag around with me so that I could make sure it was safe. Unfortunately, the moment I told him that I'd concealed it away in the camp he pointed at my bag and told me he'd found it. He picked apart everything about my strategy with a snap of his fingers. If he weren't my father I'd have devised a way to rid myself of the threat he represents.
Day 6 of my FE:A husbando search,
I came to within a hairs breadth of besting my father at his own little strategy game. I had heard that Virion once beat him at it and have been watching the two play, using my mothers hiding places for cover. I learned every tactic, every move, memorized all of his set-ups and I came SO close! I am choosing to take this as a victory, for I am young while my father is much older. By the time I reach his age I will have surpassed him ten-fold and he knows this. When the time comes to take his place he may see me as a threat to his status and seek to do away with me, I'll need to prepare for such an occasion. Being my father only allows you a certain amount of leeway it seems.
Possible To-Kill List: Father
(I didn't play a lot today, forgive me. D8)
Last Edit: May 6, 2016 19:22:50 GMT -5 by Progress
Y'know I've noticed the lack of husbandos on this search that's dedicated to finding them. I'll have to have mother threaten to curse father until he starts picking up some hot future (present?) guys. On the bright side we found Sissy! She hates it when I call her that, but it's so much easier than calling her my sister. So what if it's a spiteful little nickname that accentuates her cowardice? That's not my fault. To think that she's older than me. Hah! And now that mother took her talisman away there's nothing she can do to stop me! The first thing I made her do was tell me everything she knows about me to see if it jogs my memory, I was just going over the notes I made today when she came into my tent and started droning on about how hard it was to have her amnesiac sister ask her a ton of questions. It's not that I hate my sister, but sometimes I hate my sister, it's like she doesn't even know that I'M the one with amnesia! And she wonders why mother always uses her to test her hexes.
Day 8 of my FE:A husbando search,
I'm convinced that Olivia is (or at least will be) unfaithful, there is NO WAY Inigo is not Virions spawn, both of them are so pathetically hungry for female attention, they even have the same dagger-sharp chin! All the same I asked Sissy to keep the hyenas at bay, I want to deprive him as much as possible and see how truly desperate he is.
Day 12 of my FE:A husbando search,
It has been four days and Inigo has had zero female contact beyond the blazing war cries of my senselessly enraged sister, it seems that she's learning to unleash her more.... Fiery side without the talisman. Surprisingly Inigo was far tamer than I expected him to be, offering to sit down with a cup of tea and talk, see if he can dredge up any memories. Part of me was offended that I might be the only girl he's ever talked to and didn't hit on, the rest of my was wary that this might be a tactic of his desperation. I offered to invite others along to our little teatime and he instantly shriveled in on himself revealing him for what he really is; a lech. Seeing his boxed in surroundings he thought that the only way to be allowed any kind of attention from the opposite sex is to pretend to have the best intentions, the moment that illusion was picked apart he went right back to what he was. There is no way Stahl is this man's father.
Now I face an even bigger problem, however. Inigo confessed that this attempt was but one of many and I'd rather not suffer his interference when I try to find my true husbando. I may have to lure him deep into the woods and.... Forget to bring him back.
List of Expendables: Father Inigo
Day 13 of my FE:A husbando search,
Sissy is taking things a little too seriously with Inigo, I told her she could stop but for some reason she keeps putting arrows through the skirts of women he talks to. Every time she looks at him she gets that look in her eye and it's really hard to get her to focus on anything else. It actually reminds me of my lessons with mothe-
Day 14 of my FE:A husbando search,
Last night I set up another trap for father. A huge tower of the heaviest tomes I could find around camp, all I need to do is wait for him to try and take one of the books from the tower and then topple it on him. But I will write more of that later, for now I'll detail our newest recruit. This morning we found Laurent in the middle of a skirmish with a gang of bandits, I watched him for the next few hours and while he's not exactly the most pleasing painting on the wall he does appear to have some form of competency and intelligence. The problem is that Miriel is his mother and Kellam is his father, so I'm worried that when I need him he won't be there and when I have him I won't be able to understand him. All the same I am nothing if not an open minded girl so I invited him to talk under the pretense that perhaps he may be able to knock a few of my memories loose. Within five seconds of entering my tent he knocked over my tower of books. Fortunately my father happened to be close enough to be struck by the falling books, sadly he wasn't quite close enough to be crushed beneath them. He presumed to lecture me on my choice of activity, namely the dangers of stacking tomes.
I mean, at least I could understand him. Sadly the stick up his ass his far too big for me to even begin trying to pull it out. I'll have to look elsewhere for my husbando.
Day 15 of my FE:A husbando search,
I finally had a chance to talk to Gerome today, but before I begin the tale of that encounter perhaps I should recount all of his qualities. We'll begin with everything that makes him husbando material: tall, dark, hot, mysterious, cool, hot, he rides a bloody dragon! Did I say hot? And now for the things that are kind of a turn off about him: he's Vaike's son. It's clear to me that he doesn't take after his father, the only thing he seems to have inherited from that oaf is the hairstyle, but making him my husbando means I'll have Vaike as a father-in-law, so I need to think very carefully about this. Besides that he has this weird thing with the mask. I don't know what the story is behind that thing but maybe he's just into that. It could even be some kind of bondage thing, which, y'know, I'd be totally down for. I might take after my father, but that much, at least, me and my mother share. I'm sure that not all of the scars my father has are from the war.
Anyway, my talk with Gerome went well at first, pretty normal. But the SECOND I asked about the mask he bailed on me. Now, I'm not faulting him for that, maybe it's personal, but there is no way I'm gonna give up after that, especially not when all the other guys in camp are a bunch of neanderthals. Gerome, sweet baby, open up your heart to me!
*There is a childish scrawl of a half naked Gerome in the upper right hand corner of the page, little hearts surround his head.*
Last Edit: May 8, 2016 13:04:48 GMT -5 by Progress
*All entries between 15 and 19 are full of nothing but increasingly muscular (and one well endowed) drawings of Gerome*
Day 19 of my FE:A husbando search,
I thought that Owain, like me, had forgotten about our last encounter. Unfortunately that is not the case and he interrupted my prime Gerome watching time with a plate of slop that he claimed took days to perfect. In an effort to get him out of my face (And out of the view of Gerome) I wolfed his scraps down. Now, I admit, that his cooking was better than expected. All the same he introduced it at a bad time and that is more than enough reason to refer to his cooking as subpar, no matter how delicious it was. The prat still refused to leave after that. In the end I was forced to issue him a second challenge; to find two of the biggest gemstones I've ever seen with which we might represent our "sacred oaths." I don't know about him, but I've seen some pretty big gems, he'll be searching for a lifetime.
Day 20 of my FE:A husbando search,
Sissy took me shopping today! We debated a bit about whether it was to help me get my memories back or make new ones or something, honestly I wasn't quite listening. I just used the chance to go to market as an opportunity to buy some new clothes, maybe check out some of the latest hairstyles, basically anything I can do to make myself more appealing to Gerome. He likes masks, and he likes his wyvern. Maybe a wyvern mask? I'm not really one for dresses, but then I've never tried one on, so maybe a dress that looks like it's made of wyvern scales? Not real one's obviously, that might offend him, I don't want to turn him away any more than he already is. Oh, and black! He likes the color black! Maybe I should have a mix of black and white to give us some contrast? But it can't be too white or he won't like it. *This entry continues on for two pages, the topic never changing.*
Day 21 of my FE:A husbando search,
I've said it before and it's common knowledge by now, but I don't hate my sister. I just want to tear her bitch guts right out of her bitch stomach and shove them down her bitch throat until she chokes like a bitch! I saw Gerome staring at her this morning and I saw her batting those nervous doe eyes at him like she didn't want it, but I know she does. I KNOW SHE DOES. But let's back track for a moment before things get even further out of hand, what if this is a misunderstanding? I don't want to accuse my sister of this heinous crime if she's innocent. I'll just add her to the top of my shit list temporarily and keep an eye on her to see if her position there is deserved. Yeah. Sissy wouldn't do that to me. She wouldn't dare.
Aforementioned Shit-List: Noire (Sissy) Father Inigo
Day 22 of my FE:A husbando search,
Ok, so, the guy that we rescued today is hot AND cute, I just couldn't resist approaching him. His ears were so soft and floppy I just wanted them for my own, I couldn't NOT try to yank them from his skull. And the way he screwed his little face up in agony was so adorable! I can't be sure if he's husbando material (Definitely not as good as Gerome) but right now he's definitely my favorite person in the camp. I need to be careful though, if Panne ever catches me laying hands on her son I'm rabbit food, that and he's the only Taguel alive that will ever pull such an adorable face when his ears are pulled.
*There is a crayon drawing of a large muscular rabbit-like humanoid in the bottom corner of the page, his face contorted into an expression of pain that seems far cuter than the real thing would have been.*
Day 23 of my FE:A husbando search,
Brady is an interesting man. He looks scary, but I've often seen him talking with his father and baking sweets for the man. I caught him reading a book about proper diction once and can only assume that his mother has been hounding him about the way he speaks. So yes, despite his looks he seems like a rather dutiful son. Sweet even. Still, a few of the troops are frightened of him and for the life of me I can't figure out why, so this morning I dedicated myself to poking around his tent looking for evidence of his misdeeds. Sad to say, he caught me. The altercation started out reasonably enough, pleasant even, but then he accused me of being a spy for the enemy! I couldn't exactly fault the man as neither of us knew much about the other, but still. It occurs to me as I write this that I still don't know much about him. I find myself compelled to find out.
Day 24 of my FE:A husbando search,
Today I tried to get Gerome to take his mask off. For some reason I can't stop myself from wanting to correct Brady's assumptions about me being a spy and I figured that the best way to extricate him from my mind would be to indulge myself with Gerome once more, so I made the suggestion to him, he refused. I told him that I'd want to wear a mask too if I was cripplingly shy. He denied it. I even alluded to him being ugly, still he didn't budge. The harder I tried to push him the more I felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall, which isn't a pleasant feeling, believe me, I've done it. In fact he just doesn't seem to want to move much for anybody. I've seen a few people get a rise out of him but for some reason I'm incapable of doing that. It's... Difficult for me to admit this but... Maybe he and I just aren't meant to be. I know that I promised that I wouldn't give up but, I dunno, something just doesn't feel right. Hell, maybe it's for the best if Sissy seems so intent on him.
List of People to Choke Like a Bitch: Noire (Sissy) Father Inigo
Day 25 of my FE:A husbando search,
My only interpretation of the mood that has come over me is some form of sorrow, as a result I tried to cure myself of it today by paying Yarne a visit. His fluffy head of hair and long floppy ears made me giddy with joy when I first met him, I was sure they'd help me a second time around. I crawled onto his shoulders and began pulling, curious as I was to know what things sounded like and how it felt to have such long rabbit ears I nearly lost myself in the joy of playing with the adorable creature. Yet still something tugged at me from the back of my mind, even torturing the poor defenseless Yarne couldn't completely cheer me up. I don't claim to be a girly girl, I never even claimed to be a grown up, so perhaps it's just a a part of being a girl that I'm not yet aware of. Maybe all I need is a bit of womanly advice on the matter. At least that was my thought. It turns out that talking to mother didn't help, neither Sumia, nor Cordelia or Lucina, not even Lissa who seemed childish enough to be the most understanding. Perhaps I'm just tired.
Day 26 of my FE:A husbando search,
I found Brady, barely standing, just outside his tent and without thinking I rushed over to help him. He'd been running around all day, taxing himself by healing the wounded. I offered to massage the tension from his muscles after noticing that they'd seized up (An offer I'm still confused about, unsure of it's origins) and he refused. I asked him if he wanted water and he accused me again of being a spy. It hurt a lot more this time, to see the man that put all others before himself point the finger of blame at me. It shouldn't have, but it did. Was it a curse that mother cast over me that was causing me to feel that way? I can still feel the residual effects of that emotion, faint, but still there. At the same time though I'm glad that I got to talk to Brady again, I learned a little bit more about him and with that small sliver of familiarity there's a tiny speck of fulfillment. Perhaps if I can get Brady to accept me I'll feel better.
Day 27 of my FE:A husbando search,
I slept on it last night and this morning I think I came to a revelation. Brady was the only one that I began watching from afar and eventually grew to like just from what I saw of his actions. His actions, not his appearance, that's the major difference. He's not cute like Yarne, nor handsome like Gerome. He doesn't have quite a creative streak as Owain nor does he have the grace and charm of Inigo. But he cares. I think he cares more than any of them. I can only guess at the kind of life he's lead that causes him to have such a rough exterior, but I've seen what he is. The way he does his best to please his mother, even when he doesn't want to. How he cares for his father and derives pleasure from making him happy. The dedication with which he heals the sick and wounded even though I know he'd rather be on the front lines. It's unorthodox. I don't think mother would approve. But Brady may just be the husbando I've been searching for. So last night I used all of the knowledge that I've pooled; the alchemical intricacies father taught me and the dark rituals of curses and hexes that mother bestowed upon me and I created a crimson mixture, it's purpose to fill him with energy and strength as well as a subtle desire to obey and follow the one who administers it.
The problem though is that much like Gerome Brady runs from me when I approach, but at least here I know that it's because he's suspicious of me and not just because he has no interest in getting close to any of us. In order to get him to drink the mixture I had to tackle him to the ground and force it down his throat.
Day 28 of my FE:A husbando search,
Brady came to my tent today, for once I didn't have to seek him out. I didn't expect the concoction of mine to work so quickly, but then again I was working in the dark, I may have messed up a few of the measurements. I'm just glad I didn't kill him, too much or too little and the mixture would have turned into a deadly poison. In any case he came to apologize for treating me like an enemy agent, laud me for my kindness and praise me for my willingness to accept people with open arms. He's wrong, of course, but hey I'll take it if he's offering it. I also took the ring he offered me. Brady's mine now. His dedication. His willingness to do whatever it takes to please people. Not only that but the fact that he's the heir to a noble estate? Yes, I'll take all of that and more, thank you very much. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I did this just for the bounty it offers me... I'm just saying that it was mostly for the bounty it offers me.