Post by Consequence on Jan 22, 2017 11:11:55 GMT -5
Sorry to be the one to do this, but your Hakuda "variant" is going to have to either come down or be adjusted. I'm not okay with you getting free "ranged punches" under the Hakuda skill. This would be different if it were a power, but as your power is Mitosis, this is clearly not a power.
I don't really have an issue with your flavoring Tempestus to be less brutal and more tactical, but taking on entirely new properties like ranged punches is not okay. Furthermore "bad against people who can soak up electricity" is not a drawback.
Contained within the spoiler is a writeup for the new style of mechanics sheet that'll need to be approved, with a rewrite of the first power writeup to conform to the way they're written now. I'll update Tempestas Adtactus and Blutuber another day.
Absolutely no need to apologize, as per that I was already intending to improve the writeup for my customs, and I had a rewrite for this skill already. Here it is:
Storm Style - Hakuda Variant
Flavour: Walter’s father made him attend multiple martial arts dojos as a child to learn various styles in order to be able to defend himself, but none of them stuck. He just didn’t find them interesting. There was one thing he was interested in: Professional Wrestling. It started with WWF and WCW being some of the programs his father let him watch as part of his exposure to the English language in common parlance, and quickly evolved into high-school wrestling. He started attending local JWA and NJPW shows, and before long he was learning pro wrestling as a hobby.
This was all theoretical hobby-work until Walter gained his Quincy powers. As part of his training Walter his father quickly learned that he was a bit crude in traditional applications of the Quincy techniques, and almost unsalvageably useless at Blut and Ginto. His solution was to help Walter develop Storm Style, a method of martial arts wherein Walter coats himself in Reishi and uses it as a conduit to deliver impacts backed by surges of electrically-charged Reiryoku. The result is a flashy, bombastic style that allows Walter to deliver devastating blows to incapacitate his enemies and, if the need arises, even kill them.
Effects: Storm Style is a reskinned Hakuda. It functions relatively identically to conventional Hakuda, but the damage is attributed to the electrical Reiryoku he is striking with rather than raw, overwhelming physical force. Given the flavour change from blunt force to electricity there are some potential changes to wound flavour such as burns instead of bruising, or paralyzing a limb instead of breaking its bone, but it’s ultimately regular Hakuda with a shiny veneer on top of it for cool points.
Also nice to see Sli.mg killed every avatar I ever uploaded including Walter's. Gotta fix that brb.